PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
