so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
