Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
