can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
