There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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