when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
