bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
