hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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