sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
