i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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