This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
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Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize