you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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