More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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