its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
