I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
