I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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