i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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