I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
