i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
