after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
