You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
