She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
