Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
