I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
