I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
