I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
