I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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