try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
