I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize