she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
