forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
