4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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