why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
