Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
