No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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