I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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