my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
