She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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