i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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