The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
