kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize