does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
