I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
