he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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