Your face is a jimmy john
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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