I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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