Jerry, you need to find god
Just cropdusted the office
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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