there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
