You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
