i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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