its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
