yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she was so not down for the gang bang
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
