I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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