I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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