i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
