dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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