don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
