Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
