He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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